Brushing is where most arguments about children's hair happen, and most of it is technique rather than temperament — pulling hurts, and a child who has been hurt resists the brush next time.
The method that avoids the fight
Start at the ends. Always.
Brushing from the roots down gathers every tangle into one knot at the bottom, and then you are pulling through it. Working upward in sections releases each tangle with almost no force.
- Divide the hair into two or three sections
- Hold the hair above the tangle with your other hand, so the pull is on your hand rather than the child's scalp. This one habit removes most of the pain
- Brush the bottom few centimetres until they run clear
- Move up a little. Repeat
- Only brush root-to-tip once everything below runs freely
Wet or dry?
Dry, or with conditioner in. Wet hair swells and weakens, so brushing bare wet hair stretches and snaps it — this is the single largest cause of breakage at any age.
If hair must be detangled wet, do it in the bath with conditioner on, using fingers or a wide-toothed comb.
Reducing tangles in the first place
- Conditioner on the lengths at every wash — it makes the next day's brushing far easier
- Loose braid or plait for sleeping, which prevents most overnight knotting
- A satin or silk pillowcase reduces friction noticeably
- Do not tie hair up wet
Making it less unpleasant
Let the child hold the brush first, or brush your hair. Brush in front of a mirror so they can see it is not going wrong. Keep sessions short — two calm minutes beats one long struggle.
Hygiene
Wash the brush regularly with warm water and a little shampoo. Brushes accumulate oil and skin cells, and put them back into clean hair.
Do not share brushes between children, particularly during a head lice season at school.
If there is real resistance
Persistent scalp tenderness, flaking, or a child who says brushing hurts even when done gently is worth a look from a doctor rather than a different brush.
For the range, see the children's care guide.